tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936628300427382822024-02-21T16:57:42.529+01:00Copenhagen SelfdefenceA blog about Self Defence & Conflict Communication -
www.copenhagenselfdefence.dkBoe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-59104516758210388752020-04-26T21:14:00.000+02:002020-04-26T21:14:54.174+02:00The bigger pictureFocus and peripheral vision are two things we touch on frequently in the context of self defense.<div>
Being able to pay attention to the goal and the main obstacle, but at the same time to have an eye for everything else around you. Being aware.</div>
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Like tension and release these are two skills that go very well hand in hand. One works poorly without the other.</div>
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Focus naturally gets a lot of attention as a skill, but lots can be gained from paying attention to what's going on <i>around</i> you. And now I'm drifting a little... </div>
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It can be connected to the concept of <i>active listening</i> also. Many times we find ourselves talking to people, but not being in a true <i>dialog</i> but rather a dual <i>monolog</i>. You have an <i>agenda</i> and know where you're going with the conversation and what goal you want to reach. But in the process you might lose a lot of information as you're in your own mind waiting for the other person to finish his sentence so you can fire off ours. It's preplanned communication.</div>
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In my work I've been increasingly aware of the fact that when I engage with people, either as clients or as people I hire, there is the direct cause of the meeting and<i> the other things.</i></div>
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One of my clients is doing music for kids, and she hires me and my recording studio to do new recordings. The thing is that she's also a social media expert. So, every time I'm working with her (and getting paid) my <i>peripheral vision</i> naturally is wide open. Tons of valuable hard earned knowledge is spilled - and I'm taking notes.</div>
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A guy that I hired to fix my mixing desk is an employe of the biggest pro audio vendor around. The day he came I asked him in a coffee break: "What task management software do you use". He said he had checked everything out on the market and system X came out on top. Think about that, Google on speed. Saved me tons of time. Asking the right questions to the right people.</div>
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So what was this post about? Maybe seeing the bigger picture. I got a little side tracked, but I guess that was the whole point... :-)</div>
Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-89018504214905284092020-04-18T08:49:00.000+02:002020-04-18T08:49:20.925+02:00Come out strongerI saw a presentation by Jon Bullock the other day where he described the process that many of us are thrown into during this pandemic crisis as follows:<br />
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1. Uncertainty<br />
2. Acceptance<br />
3. Progession<br />
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I found it very accurate and to be more or less a timeline that many of us go through.<br />
I take the liberty to elaborate on it here as it might help some and add <i>clarity</i> to the process.<br />
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UNCERTAINTY<br />
We get struck with fear as this situation is new and many things unknown. Generally we, people, don't like change. We start to worry about what <i>might</i> happen. But, there are so many unknown variables, that it feels overwhelming and as a result we get silent, passive and <i>stressed</i>.<br />
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ACCEPTANCE<br />
As time goes we slowly start to accept the new situation. Some things fall into place and we develop new routines. Routines are comforting and we start to settle in with the new "normal". We come to terms with the fact that while there are things we cannot change, but also that there are things that can be done.<br />
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PROGRESSION<br />
As the next step we start to grow again. We visualize the future and start to plan for it. We get exited and start to make decisions. We realize that there is a life after this.<br />
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An analogy is the kettlebell training. We put a load on ourself - the training. The body then recovers during a time of relaxation, then starts to adapt and <i>comes out stronger</i>.<br />
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Your first thought may be: "I long for things to returning to normal".<br />
Try this one instead: "When things normalize, the world will be different and I will come back stronger, wiser and better".<br />
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The nature of an applied load is that it either breaks you <i>or</i> makes you stronger. Think of the "breaking" not being an option. That's the mindset of a fighter.<br />
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Spend the time you may be in some sort of lockdown preparing. Use it wisely. Study the things you may be lacking on: new software solutions, how to run a business, sharpen your skills, get fit or whatever supports your long term goal.Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-90535087817838097372020-03-22T22:20:00.000+01:002020-03-22T22:20:42.706+01:00Warrior level<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
In Krav Maga Global we work with 3 "levels" or stages in the development of a Krav Maga practitioner. </div>
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First one is the <i><b>operator</b></i>.</div>
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The beginner is learning new techniques and is learning why, when and how to use them.</div>
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If "this" happens, you do "this".</div>
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The second level is reached usually after around 3 years of training. The <i><b>fighter</b></i> level.</div>
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The fighter becomes better at grouping techniques and understanding the underlying <i>principles</i>. </div>
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When encountering a problem not met before he or she defaults to fierce <i>fighting.</i></div>
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The third and last level is reached usually after about 6-8 years of training. This is the <i><b>warrior</b> </i>level.</div>
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The warrior has an extensive understanding of solutions and the principles behind.</div>
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When meeting a new problem or a problem that <i>changes</i>, the warrior is able to <i>adapt </i>and change his response dynamically.</div>
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Let's zoom out a bit though. Cause obviously these skills are not only effective when dealing with physical encounters. </div>
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Just now we see the Corona virus (COVID-19) spread all over the globe, and for some time many things in our daily lives will change.</div>
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We see now that these skills learned has a very high <i>carry over</i> to a life with unforeseen challenges. Some people being in quarantine for weeks, some being separated from their families, some losing their jobs and having to <i>adapt </i>very fast and find solutions.</div>
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So, fighter and warrior mentality is not only well suited for a life on the physical battlefield...</div>
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Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-51708138385631882132020-03-22T12:50:00.000+01:002020-03-30T08:54:53.393+02:00ClarityI've had this one word in my head for some time now: "Clarity". Not like some new age revelation, but more like an everyday practical guideline. For myself and between people in general.<br />
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An analogy could be "pollution". What we send out has an effect on people around us.</div>
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Sometimes we're just raising our opinions and social media is full of them. But maybe more often we should ask ourselves <i>is this causing greater clarity</i> on the subject or not.</div>
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I might have an opinion where others have a Doctor's degree.</div>
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Think about the impact if could have on your relations, if everything you do and say has to pass through a <i>clarity filter</i> before it's released. <i>Will this cause more or less clarity? </i>For myself and people around me.</div>
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Ok, sometimes we don't <i>have</i> clarity. So, we go to people who do. Mentors & experts. You ask them for advice and hopefully you leave with <i>more</i> clarity. Else we can meditate or read books.</div>
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Of cause there's a time for everything. There are times when you really <i>are</i> confused, when you don't know and when the goals are somewhat blurry. But, like the Corona virus, it <i>does not need to spread</i>.</div>
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We all want clarity - cause it <i>feels good</i>. It relaxes your nervous system and might give you a sense of direction and purpose. It's even good business. People want to pay money to get it from you.</div>
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So here's a little challenge. For the next week (or the rest of your life), let everything you say or do pass through your internal clarity filter and ask yourself whether your action is <i>adding to a greater sense of clarity</i> or causing more confusion.<br />
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Oh, and why a post like this in a blog about self defence and conflict communication? Well, conflicts often come from a place of confusion. About status, territory, rules etc. So, clarity is a the road to safety.</div>
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Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-67620495540731154632020-03-16T00:16:00.002+01:002020-03-16T00:27:49.012+01:00Change<div>
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<i>Do something about what you can do something about.</i></div>
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Corona virus is spreading like wildfire and our danish government have ordered a complete and historic lockdown of our country in order to regain control. What needs to be done needs to be done. Meanwhile the impact on us, the people, will be huge.</div>
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Many will lose their jobs and incomes and find themselves in an emotional free fall.</div>
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Cause <i>change</i> creates <i>stress</i>. The fear of the unknown.</div>
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Of cause there is the issue of money. How will I pay my rent etc, but equally important is the fact that your social groups might very well change also. New networks and new relations.</div>
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All these <i>feelings</i> reside in the Limbic System, the part of the brain author Sgt. Rory Miller calls <i>The Monkey Brain</i>. The monkey brain hates change.</div>
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What amplifies these feelings can be the feeling of helplessness. The feeling that this came upon you and you now have <i>no choice</i>. You might feel like a victim. Although very understandable is not true. You <i>always</i> have a choice.</div>
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The solution is a simple but not easy strategy...</div>
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Seek clarity. What are your options? How bad is it?</div>
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Then accept what you cannot change. Let it go. Breathe!</div>
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Finally <i>do</i>. Really <i>do </i>something about what you can do something about. Be creative. See this new situation as something that can actually push you and help you progress and evolve as a person.</div>
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Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-57158739874502714972020-03-10T09:29:00.000+01:002020-03-11T08:21:55.441+01:00Digging deeperWhen I started training Krav Maga I saw the training like building a house. I started with the foundation and slowly progressed in the levels while the techniques got more and more advanced. Always building upwards. Higher.<br />
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But somewhere down the line my perception changed.<br />
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A student asked me once: "When are we done with training these basic techniques"? The answer was of course: "Never".<br />
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Or put in other words (the ones of Tommy Blom, Krav Maga Expert 5 if I remember correctly): "An expert is just someone who is better at the basic than the others".<br />
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When we do Krav Maga testing, we of course test the newly learned skills for the level. But, more importantly we test to see the level of the previous techniques. They should now be stronger and better.<br />
A typical expert test is around 8 hours. The first 3 hours is testing the Expert level skills. Then we move on to test the G level skills that was learned before and at the very end of the test the basic skills, the P level learned are tested. The idea is that even after this many hours of work an expert should be able to perform his basic skills flawlessly. <br />
If students are failing expert level tests often it's not the Expert level stuff that is the issue - rather the basics.<br />
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So back to the analogy of the house...<br />
When I took my KMG Krav Maga instructor certification, expert level Moran Laskov said the words: "Digging deeper" in relation to our training. He got them from Master Eyal Yanilov.<br />
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That way of thinking made a lot of sense to me. It’s not just adding stuff on top but making the foundation stronger.<br />
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Later my Kettlebell master and mentor Mark Reifkind said it in these words: "The wider the base, the taller the peaks".<br />
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So only once your base is strong enough to hold, you should add new skills or challenges.<br />
This thinking goes through our training at <a href="http://www.copenhagenselfdefence.dk/" target="_blank">Copenhagen Selfdefence</a>. Be it self defence or kettlebell training or life in general.<br />
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Years later, I met Moran Laskov again in Israel. I asked him how he was doing. He said: "Digging deeper with the <i>family</i>". That put many things into perspective for me.</div>
Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-128109992536191222020-03-05T11:12:00.001+01:002020-03-05T11:33:17.354+01:00Believing in your techniqueOne of the pitfalls is teaching self defense is that the students could believe us just because have wear an instructor T-shirt and not because it makes sense to them. In other words, they believe what we teach them just because of their trust in the system that we represent and because we seem convincing.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWBJQ6FXj2Jf4i1yQ9bhpp5bh1ubW1ecRodjyEPH5mjRe3t3BbFCGoaP7PyGFMEp92DNa7UC0iOsBk0lGjXWRUTAygKxqKveQc5oIbKvmzxIWIT-qpNkC75Ohmd13N-IxXLm1sDZrKJ10/s1600/IMG_1679.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Krav Maga training of dealing with a knife threat from the side" border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWBJQ6FXj2Jf4i1yQ9bhpp5bh1ubW1ecRodjyEPH5mjRe3t3BbFCGoaP7PyGFMEp92DNa7UC0iOsBk0lGjXWRUTAygKxqKveQc5oIbKvmzxIWIT-qpNkC75Ohmd13N-IxXLm1sDZrKJ10/s320/IMG_1679.jpeg" title="Dealing with a knife threat from the side" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Knife threat from the side</i></td></tr>
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This is however not enough for their skills to be effective in a live situation.<br />
The student has to be critical to what we teach!<br />
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First of all because all people are physically different. So, while Krav Maga techniques are designed to work for everybody, there are of cause techniques that may be more appropriate for smaller persons, women, bigger persons etc. Also, you as a student, might have limitations which makes a specific technique less ideal for you.<br />
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While we as instructors should of cause be aware of this, you know you best. So be critical, ask questions etc.<br />
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The other side of this which is even more interesting is however the mental aspect.<br />
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If you are confronted in a live situation you will very likely be stressed. Because you are afraid of what might happen to you. If the level of stress reaches a certain point, your <i>reptile brain will take over</i> and your front brain, Neo Cortex will be bypassed. The Neo Cortex is very good at analysing and making rational decisions, but it is unfortunately <i>very</i> <i>slow.</i><br />
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</i> So, you are left with what the reptile brain can do. You will not come up with new cleaver solutions, but default to what the reptile brain <i>knows</i> works. What it <i>believes</i> <i>in</i> on a deep level.<br />
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And here is my point...<br />
If you have only reached a rather superficial level of trust in your techniques they will <i>not</i> be in the pool of solutions your reptile brain can choose from. If your instructor or you have only persuaded your Neo Cortex that Krav Maga works, there will be <i>no useable skills </i>when the reptile brain is in control.<br />
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So how do we get you to really believe in your kills?<br />
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We do two things.<br />
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We let you <i>feel</i> and <i>see</i> the impact of you action.<br />
Take this example of dealing with a knife threat from the side.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We taught the technique of deflecting with the hand to Troels. But, unfortunately he can't hit the hand of the opponent full force in training, cause it would be very painful.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, we added protection to his opponents hand and arm (a shin protection). Then Troels can hit full force and <i>this</i> will give him the belief in the technique. Now it's not just an intellectual trust but a <i>physical</i> one. He feels and sees the effect.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After this we move on to adding stress gradually. We let him close his eyes and let his opponent choose from a selection of problems that Troels knows how to solve. The stress comes from <i>not knowing which</i>. Also we add aggression, loud music and the stressor of other people screaming etc. Always on a level that is enough to make the student <i>adapt</i> but not break.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Through repetition we finally get the reptile brain to <i>believe</i> this will work. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">An <i>now</i> you have a usable skill.</div><br />
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Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-64318103674577278262020-02-23T07:58:00.001+01:002020-02-23T07:58:16.117+01:00Labeling yourselfMaybe you've heard yourself say something like: "I feel people are just putting me into this box of people who are just like...".<br />
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Of cause we're all guilty of <i>labeling</i> people.<br />
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<i>He's a golfer, he's prejudiced, he's a racist, he's one of those people who are always angry, she's always late, he's a procrastinator, he's a good guy...</i><br />
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Possibly in an effort to understand the world through the groupings but mainly as a way of justifying our own actions.<br />
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<i>"He's one of these people that won't understand </i><i>even t</i><i>he simplest things"</i><br />
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These labels are used frequently in arguments putting the opponent in a box of stupid or dubious people making your own case stronger.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT-SfG_gLDx8xjaerkCFIB6DIQ9oBJ43F7xmBszJ1NdqK-djXppNPP9o2m3Sv-xvpXKueZHeeDgF1wKP84j9FeFrXcIBaAIgnYispSOgHQ5lG9PoQhtXYyjuZurnZzflaz9ljGnSJs4wg/s1600/labelbig.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="886" data-original-width="1361" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT-SfG_gLDx8xjaerkCFIB6DIQ9oBJ43F7xmBszJ1NdqK-djXppNPP9o2m3Sv-xvpXKueZHeeDgF1wKP84j9FeFrXcIBaAIgnYispSOgHQ5lG9PoQhtXYyjuZurnZzflaz9ljGnSJs4wg/s320/labelbig.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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The issue with feeling like people are putting <i>you</i> in a box is that you are <i>victimising yourself</i>.<br />
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The truth is that other people don't care - in a good way. They are busy living their own busy lives.<br />
Since you can't control what's going on inside other people anyway, it all comes down to what's going on inside <i>you...</i><br />
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Using my own example...<br />
I grew up in a small village in the far west side of Jutland, Denmark, with a population of around 3000 people. Everybody was playing football and that was about the only thing you could really do besides school. I tried for some years but I was just not very good at the game, so I stopped. I was around seven then. I started playing the piano, which put me en route to becoming a music producer, but that's another story.<br />
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The interesting thing is that I put this <i>label</i> on my own forehead saying "<i>I am not good at sports<b>".</b></i><br />
The label was so strong that I didn't do any sports until I was 30 years old. At that time my weight was around 125 kg and I had massive back problems, so something clearly needed to be done.<br />
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I started doing Shotokan Karate, and found, that not only was it fun, but I actually progressed like the others when I put in the effort it took. This removed the label completely and a whole series of <i>doors</i> <i>opened</i>. After 7 years of training I became a 2nd degree black belt. I started training Krav Maga (KMG) and took my expert level in that too. I became a certified StrongFirst Kettlebell instructor and I am now the danish representative and educator of the mobility system <a href="https://www.groundforcemethod.dk/" target="_blank">Ground Force Method</a>, teaching people to move better. And, I have my own school, <a href="https://copenhagenselfdefence.dk/" target="_blank">Copenhagen Selfdefence</a>, where we are teaching people adults and kids to defend themselves using Krav Maga.<br />
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So the interesting thing here is not which labels you feel other people put on you, <i>but which you put on yourself.</i><br />
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Taking them off is truly liberating. Maybe you don't have the <i>talent</i> to get good at something but having the will and putting the time into it will get you there anyway.Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393662830042738282.post-32815573031996011282020-02-10T08:02:00.002+01:002020-02-11T10:19:41.289+01:00Your three brothers<div style="-en-clipboard: true;">
Let’s talk about how we deal with conflict. Or, in general just how we deal with problems or “threats” coming against us. It can be in a physical form, like a punch or a kick, it can be somebody threatening you verbally or it can even an unexpected turn of events in your life. In this aspect it’s the same. It’s perceived as a treat and it creates more or less stress to your system. </div>
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Imagine that you are protected by your three brothers. Three guys that whatever threat you are faced with, has to pass.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqcDBehWneZ-MD0Pc7e1nAfJ08MGsoPhebAP5xI6jztFjXVDfXmqaQIJJbn6ySqHt_Vipn_LUmpdXQCBklWQ9tgVhSfmRwrMbwQLJR7BPi4cQb5nkptuiKi750LLQE4NzQUptE_8f9oL4/s1600/3bros.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="184" data-original-width="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqcDBehWneZ-MD0Pc7e1nAfJ08MGsoPhebAP5xI6jztFjXVDfXmqaQIJJbn6ySqHt_Vipn_LUmpdXQCBklWQ9tgVhSfmRwrMbwQLJR7BPi4cQb5nkptuiKi750LLQE4NzQUptE_8f9oL4/s1600/3bros.jpg" /></a></div>
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The first guy is rather small looking mostly very quiet. He doesn’t seem like much, and almost always, he just let’s things pass. But don’t get him wrong. He has a very particular set of skills, but they only show out if it’s a matter of life and death. </div>
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The second guy is rather sexy looking and he has all the social skills. However he is quite obsessed with his looks so he is quite easily offended. </div>
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The third guy is the clever of them. He is far from flamboyant, even a little boring, mostly doing the right thing. All he cares about is making the smart decisions. His problem is however that he’s rather slow. He needs time to analyse and weigh the pros and cons before he makes up his mind. His other problem is that he’s not that loud and when he’s with his brothers, Mr. Good looking often has the final say as he is the loudest one. He’s smaller brother is typically not bothered at all. He finds most problems to inferior to deal with. </div>
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Now, if we didn’t have Mr. Good-looking life would be very dull. He brings colours to your life. </div>
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He has a way of getting into trouble though, so keep him on a short leash. </div>
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Mr. Clever is who we really want advice from, cause if we we give him time, he’s mostly right. </div>
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But, if the two of them can’t work it out - Mr. Quiet has your back! <br />
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Of cause this is an analogy for tree parts of your brain. The lizzard-, the monkey- and the human brain as described by Sgt. Rory Miller in his book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/ConCom-Conflict-Communication-Paradigm-Conscious-ebook/dp/B00IO9TTAG" target="_blank">ConCom</a>.</div>
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Boe Larsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875873340558222509noreply@blogger.com0Copenhagen, Denmark55.6760968 12.56833719999997455.532822800000005 12.245613699999973 55.8193708 12.891060699999974